The Basics of God's Will

"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."
                  1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

If you're like me, at one point in your life, you've probably tried to get into shape. You research different kinds of workout programs and meals plans to find the perfect one for you.  You watch the interviews of people who have successfully toned, sculpted and transformed their bodies.  You tell yourself that you can do this and look forward to the end result.

But what happens if you only do part of the program? If you ignore the meal plans, or only workout out 2 days a week versus the 6 days that are recommended, will your body get the results that are promised in the program?  Probably not.

Our walk with God is kind of like that too.  We so often search for God's will in our life. We read all the books.  (Just for fun, I went to christianbooks.com and typed in "God's will" in the search bar and got 14,815 results.)

Like physical fitness, searching for spiritual fitness is something sought after and researched. But as I studied the verses from 1 Thessalonians that are quoted above, something stood out to me.  This verse tells us what God's will is for all followers of Christ.  It is to be joyful, never stop praying and be thankful in all circumstances. 

But like physical fitness, we want to shortcuts.  We want to skip steps and get the same end results. We are thankful in most circumstances, joyful sometimes (if our kids are being good and the sun is shining), but only pray in front of others.  Yet, we get so frustrated when God doesn't seem to be moving in our life the way we expect. 

Doesn't that give you a fresh perspective on being thankful, prayerful and joyful?  It does for me. As much as I enjoy books and studies on learning and following God's will for my life, I'm going to get back to the basics and make the following the theme for my days:  "Erin, always be joyful.  Erin, never stop praying. Erin, be thankful in all circumstances. Erin, this is God's will for you.  Erin belongs to Christ Jesus."  Thanks to Melissa Taylor from Proverbs 31 ministries online bible studies for issuing this challenge :)

Deception of Perfection

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fear the Lord is to be praised."
               Proverbs 31:30


I have naturally curly, dark brown hair.  And each morning, when getting ready for the day, I like to make sure that each individual strand of hair is curled just so.  My main reason?  What if someone thought my hair wasn't naturally curly because of one hair not curling properly!  So because of this thought running through my head, I take extra care to check my hair at every angle.  Sounds a little ridiculous, right?  It's really not that anyone would think less of me if one hair was out of place, but I want to make sure that I don't look that way.

It's laughable, yes, but realistically, how often do we that with our homes, our kids, our vehicles and just our life in general.  There have been many times I've asked my husband to change shirts so people don't think I neglect my husband (and if you know my husband, he doesn't give one thought to the wrinkles, but will change for me).  We seek to deceive others, and sometimes ourselves, into thinking we're perfect.  We strive to make sure that the house "looks" neat and tidy to the naked eye, but hoping that no one looks too closely.  We make sure our child has a healthy snack at school, hoping they don't tell the teacher about the popcorn you gave them for supper last night.  We buy these things called "Spanx" to make sure those extra few cookies we indulged in don't show themselves through the pretty new sundress we got off the clearance rack at Wal-Mart.

We also spend a lot of time "researching" perfection.  How many of us buy those home decorating or organizing magazines that stare at us from the checkout line at the grocery store?  We see these while our kids are grabbing for the strategically placed candy bars or gum, and succumb to the temptation that this magazine, for only $4.99, will help us rearrange our lives to perfection.  And how many of us have seen or subscribe to blogs that will give us all sorts of tips on meal-planning, pantry organization and the perfect color of blue for your guest room.  Don't get me wrong, I love that we have a wealth of information at our fingertips, but what feelings do you come away with?  Do you feel inspired or depressed?  Hopeful or overwhelmed?

One of the biggest images of perfection that I've struggled with is the Proverbs 31 woman.  But, because I truly believe what Paul says in 2 Timothy 3:16, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness," I cannot avoid Proverbs chapter 31.  This week I was reminded by Karen Ehman in her book, "Let. It. Go." that it does not say that this woman accomplished all of these things in one day or even by a certain age.

What a relief, because I've struggled so many times with why my house will never stay toy-clutter free (thanks to my beautiful, giggling 2 and 4 year-old princesses) like the ones in the magazines. Or why I can't get my act together and plan my meals days in advance.  Or why I'm not more organized with my time and make it to the gym to rid my waist of those extra cookies.  What I've have to remind myself it that I need my my priorities, to be God's priorities.  He wants me to be real.  No more deception of perfection. And to remind myself that for everything, there is a season.  He calls me to do my best each day.  And as we all know, His best is not the same as what the world deems as "best", so I need not bog myself down with images of the perfect home or the perfectly dressed children.

Someday I may have a well-organized home, pre-planned meals and dresses that don't need spanx hidden underneath.  And maybe, one of these days, I'll be able to let go of having the perfect head of curls.

Starting Fresh

To the woman He said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children.  Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
            Genesis 3:16

A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
            Proverbs 12:4


I always thought I had a pretty good handle on the submissive wife thing.  I had no problem allowing my husband to have the final say on the big things and trusting in his leadership according to how he thought God wanted us to proceed.  We'd discuss our options, I'd let him know what my thoughts were, but then I'd give it to him and to God. No biggy.

But heaven help him if he loaded the dishwasher wrong, put a diaper on a way that I didn't think was good enough, dressed one of our girls in yellow polka dots and pink stripes, etc.  You get the idea; I like things at home done my way!

In the last week, as I read the chapter entitled "Managing Your Man" in Karen Ehman's book "Let. It. Go.", I've come to see little more clearly how I am falling into the curse of sin that God spoke to Eve in Genesis 3:16.  I am desiring to control my husband.  It's a part of the curse that I had never looked at too closely.

Through Karen's writing and my other bible study, "True Woman 101" by Mary Kassian and Nancy Leigh DeMoss, I've felt God reveal to me that the way I speak and correct what my husband does, is more like the disgraceful wife in Proverbs 12:4.  And that is not what God created me, and women in general, for.  He has called us to be soft, nuturing, relational, welcoming and helpful.  These are strengths God has given to every woman.

God has designed women and men with different strengths.  Women's strengths are not more important than men's strengths, and vice versa.  God designed our strengths to compliment each other and together, display His glory in a marvelous and unique way.  So this just means that if I stay within my own strengths and not try to take over ones that my husband has been given by God, we will accurately display His glory.

Easier said than done, right?  Another aspect to my marriage that creates some unique challenges is that my husband and I are both firstborns.  This generally means we like things done our way because we each think that we know best and are the most trusted person for the job.  Can you say "Type A Personalities"?  That's us.  So this is why when Karen Ehman says to me in the book that "backing off and and not controlling your husband will feel foreign", I want to shout "Amen" because at least I'm not the only one that struggles with going again my natural tendencies! She also says that "the act of submitting is always a choice by and an action of the wife."  And praise the Lord that He gave me a husband that I'm not scared or afraid to submit to.

So today I'm starting fresh.  Seeking to be a bit softer and a bit less obsessive over the little things that I think aren't just the way they should be and focus on what God has given me.  He has given me a man who willingly tries to comb a little girls hair and dresses her sister to help me not be so rushed getting out the door.  He has given me a man who cooks supper if I'm too tired.  He has given me a man who makes sure my vehicle runs, has the best tires and gas in the tank.  He has given me a man who goes to work to provide for his family, works 12 hours and comes home to help me put two little girls to bed.  He has given me a man that I have never doubted his love for me.

Thank God for the blessing of my husband and help me be the wife of noble character that is my husband's crown.  And thank you Karen Ehman for enlightening me with this quote: "You see, if I had a perfect husband who could meet my every need, I would have no need for God."

I'm a control freak.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

"He cares for those who trust in Him." - Nahum 1:7b

"Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." - Psalm 55:22



I'm a control freak.  There is comfort in saying that.  Not in the way that I would say, "Hi, my name is Erin and I'm a control freak.  It's been 2 minutes since I tried to control someone."  It's more like there is comfort  in the label of being a control freak.  It could even be called a disclaimer, warning others that I'm in control and it's my way or the highway, whether they like it or not.  But how twisted is that!

Most of the time, there is comfort in what we know and for me, being in control is comfortable.  Exhausting, but comfortable.  I mean, really, what would my life look like if I was to really give every piece of my day to God.  Would the dishes still get done?  Would my kids be fed and dressed? Would the appointments be attended on time?  Does giving up control mean God will magically get my work done and give me time to sit with my feet up and read my Bible and sip my coffee while it's still warm?

It would be a lot easier for me to let go if this were true, but it's not.

But what does being in control even mean?  Does it mean that I can control my child's mood?  Do I control the weather?  Do I control the person who, very evidently does not have a child, takes the last parents' parking spot at Wal-Mart?  Do I control when my washing machine breaks down in the middle of a load of towels? No! I really can't and don't control any of those things.

So what is this illusion of control that I have and where does it come from?  Unfortunately, it comes directly from the same crafty serpent who tempted Eve with a piece of fruit.  Satan is still planting all those questions that cast doubt and plant seeds of independence from God today.  And even as I know this, why do I let myself get so wrapped up in "having control"?

All these are questions that I really don't have a very solid answer on...today.  But there is one thing that I do know.  God is in control whether I want to acknowledge it or not.  He's going to be there for me whether I give my day to Him or hold on to it for my own obsession.  And most importantly, He's not giving up on me.  I know His plan for me includes learning how to let go and trust Him fully with all aspects of my life.

And while I don't know, both practically and tangibly, what giving control looks like, I do know that it is a place that I want to be.  Even if my only reason for seeking this today is blind obedience and wanting to give Him the glory of my life, that's still a very good place to be.  As I focus on the verses listed at the top, I know my trust is in the right place.