What Trials Bring

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
                   James 1:2-4


When I was about 11 or 12, my mom and my sisters and I would listen to a popular kids Christian radio program every day on the way home from school. I remember one episode focused on James 1:2a and told me to "count it all joy." At the time, I thought it was a good verse to memorize because it was short, and it talked about something good, joy, and I knew I needed more of that.

As I grew older and read the rest of the verse, I learned that it wasn't just telling me to have joy in the good times, but when there were trials in my life! So for years I focused on the section where it talked about the trials of life. I would get upset with myself if, during the trials my family was going through, I didn't feel joyful.

Then I came to a place in my life where I could look back at the trials I had experienced and see how they had affected me, both good and bad. I discovered that through those terrible times is when I discovered the most about God and grew stronger in my faith. I truly began to realize what verses three and four of James chapter 1 meant! I had gained assurance of my faith, became grounded in God's truths, and knew where to find wisdom.

Now, here I am, years down the line and looking at my children. I see them so young in their faith and it brings me to remember when I was in their place. And I ache for them. Why? Because I know for them to mature in their faith and really grow in their faith, they will have to face trials and hard times. Can I be honest? I'm scared for them too! They will have to learn how to make choices in the face of opposition to God's ways. They will have to go through heartbreak and rejection in order to really be able to sympathize and honestly say "I know how you feel." So many lessons for them to learn along the way.

But I know that through all those times, God will be, yet again, testing me as their mom while I watch them struggle. My prayers will be for them to persevere and mature in their faith, no matter what they must journey through. And one thing I know for sure from going through my own trials is that God will watch over them and their mom, through it all.

Let Myself Go

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
              Zephaniah 3:17



Love. We hear about it all the time. Songs on the radio, books and TV shows constantly throw the word love around. Many a young girl has been caught up in all those media-laced ideas of love and what it looks like. Like, how many red roses will he send you if he's really in love? Or, will he magically pick out the biggest ring and propose to me with a photographer hidden in the bushes? I admit, that the image of love that our society portrays to us is very enticing. But it falls short, doesn't it. We all have stories, some funny and some not so funny, of when the fairytale came to a screetching halt!

Isn't it funny how human love is blown way out of proportion, while the true love story of the universe has been minimized to the point that it barely gets mentioned in an average daily conversation, even amongst Christians. Why is that?

My why is this. Right now, at this place today, I'm struggling. Struggling to not second-guess myself constantly because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel of this love from God. I'm struggling to not be terrified that Jesus is going to tell me, I never knew you. I'm struggling not to compare how I feel by what others tell me they feel. But as I've processed these thoughts and struggles, I've realized the basis of it all. I'm struggling to let myself go into my Father's Arms.

Oh, how desperately I want to, but I'm not a let myself go kind of person. I'm the always in control, never let them see you question, roll-with-it kind of person. But I don't want to be that kind of person with God anymore. I want to cling to Him with everything that is in me. I want to radiate His love because I've finally let myself go. I want Him to amaze those around me, through me. I want to live in the verse from Zephaniah 3:17 that I've quoted above. I want God to quiet me by His love.

So let this be my declaration of God's love. I declare that I am going to let myself go into God's love. Will you join me?

Deceived Into Doubting

I have a confession to make. I doubt most people. I doubt the motive of strangers walking down the street. I doubt the government's press releases. I doubt what the sales girl says about that pair of jeans I just showed her, so I have to send my girlfriend a picture while I'm in the change room. Am I the only one who has doubts like that? Probably not. But if I'm honest, the doubt I feel the most intense and the most often is doubt about myself. 

For a very long time I've struggled to feel like I mattered to those around me. I've had so many friendships over the years that were so one-sided that caused me to feel like I wasn't important or worth being around. I would be the one seeking that friend out for coffee or movie or just simply a phone chat. 

I've also struggled with the doubt of my abilities. Although I would get that pat on the back or raise at work, I'd never feel like I had done enough or that I wasn't quite good enough. Even to the point where things like my music awards or grades made me feel like I had fooled the teachers into thinking I was good, but lived in fear of them finding out what an imposter I was. 

But there is One that I've never been able to run from or hide from or fool...God. He knows me, the real me. He wants to be with me, talk to me and enjoy me. He has shown me what it's like to be treasured and known so that I don't have to pretend.

Psalm 139:1-3 says that, "You have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways." Just reading that gives me such a comforting feeling and a blaring reminder that all those labels of doubt that I've felt over the years are not how God sees me. As verse 14 of that same chapter says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; you works are wonderful. I know that full well."

I don't always live as if I believe those truths of God's word, but He continues to speak His love and affirmation into my life. And who am I to say to God that He is wrong or that He messed up when He made me, because I can't. I can only focus on who He says I am, and pray that He penetrates my heart so that when I feel those old labels of doubt creeping back into my mind, His stamp of approval smashes them to pieces.

What labels are you struggling with? 

My Valley of Dirty Laundry and Sticky Fingers

But David said to Saul, "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who delievered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.

               1 Samuel 17:34-37

At least once a year I get all fired up to get my cleaning schedule organized. I search Pinterest for all those handy schedules that someone else has prepared to tell me what to clean on which day of the week. One year I even purchased an app for my phone that reminded me of my daily checklist. I thought it was fabulous...for about a week. 

Needless to say, my life as a wife and mom of three little ones gives me a never ending list of things to do. School lunches, loading and unloading the dishwasher, and the never ending piles of dirty laundry fill my days. Not to mention the fact that as soon as I complete a task, like laundry and dishes, it has to be done again.  I'm not going to lie, there are days where my life seems to be going in circles and I'm left wondering why I even bother to scrub the floors or pick up the toys. Days that just looking at my kitchen table leave me exhausted.

Those are days when I turn to the verses found above in 1 Samuel. I read about how David, although a young man and annointed king of Israel, was still tending the sheep in his father's flock. Not evenhis own flock, but his father's. But the verses above also lead up to the time when he was stepping out in faith to challenge Goliath. While everyone else, including the king, was afraid of the Philistine giant, David boldly declared that he would fight the giant because he knew the God of Israel would win the battle for him. Why? Because he has spent all that time tending his father's sheep getting to know The Lord and witnessing God's provision and protection in facing the day to day tasks of tending those sheep.

As I tend my own little sheep and all their messes, I remember that this is a huge mission field that God has placed me in each day. He has given me simple tasks that bless the members of my family. And even if I never have a book published or speak to change lives, being faithful in raising my children to follow The Lord is enough.

Is there something small that The Lord is calling you to be faithful in today?

Rest. Be.

This post is a little bit different from what I usually post, but something I wanted to share with you. I'd love to hear your reaction and if it prompts you to look at your own time with God differently!

I hear my name softly as I walk through the aisles. Row after row of words jump out at me. Book after book call out for me to take them and explore their pages. I start to take one down, but stop.

I hear my name again.

I walk faster, quickly glancing down each row before moving on. Still I press on and resist the distractions, though I am tempted.

Finally, I round the last row and find a quiet little corner with two cushioned chairs in front of a crackling fire.

I notice He is there, just like always.

He smiles and invites me to sit. I start to say something, but He already knows my excuses and temptations, even the ones I gave in to. He knows my requests before I speak. I fight the urge to speak first and try to calm my racing thoughts as I await His voice.

Finally, He speaks.

"I am always here and never as far away as you may think I am. Even amid the distractions that surround you, I am with you. Rest. Be." 

The Treasure of the Word

All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

               2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV)

If you came to visit me at my house, you'd learn a few things about me just by walking into my kitchen. First, I'm not a big fan of cleaning. Having three little kiddos running around makes it hard to keep things super clean and I don't like doing pointless things. Second, I love coffee! I have a really big coffee mug that I got on my one trip to NYC in 2005. It's my favorite and never far away. And third, I love books! I have a corner hutch in my kitchen that is supposed to be for keeping fancy dishes, but it's full of books instead. I have one shelf of currently reading and another of to be read. But no matter what historical fiction, Christian living or doctrine book I'm reading, my Bible (or Bibles) is always top of my pile.

Why is the Bible never far from me? It's because I look to it as a manual for living. It applies to every point of my life and every struggle I'm facing. And for the past almost three weeks I have been following Wendy Blight's "Living So That" book on how to make faith-filled choices in the midst of a messy life. Wendy has continually pointed me to scripture in a new and refreshing way. But I know that Wendy is not the one working in my life. It's the Spirit of God moving in my life, renewing my mind and transforming my heart. 

Now you may think that I'm crazy, and that's okay. But I want to share one of the many very simple truths that have blown me away, and I hope will be eye-opening to you as well.

Jesus came so that I might know how to live a blameless life. He faced temptations just like I do and yet continued to follow His Father without hesitation. Wendy shares some insight in the first chapter titled "Jesus Came So That..." which literally make me stop and feel like I have had an revelation.

"In one of His last acts, Jesus forgave the thief hanging on the cross beside Him and told him he would be with Him that day in paradise. It didn't matter to Jesus what motivated this man's confession. Jesus still forgave him. He forgave him knowing he would never study the Bible, never impact the kingdom, and never bring another to Christ. What a wonderful, beautiful reminder that you and I do not have to do anything to earn God's grace. It's a free gift. Grace does not depend on what we have done, but on what God has done for us." (Living So That, page 15)

Isn't is amazing to think that all the "good Christian stuff" I do or try to accomplish really doesn't have any impact on the grace that God gave me. It really is "Amazing Grace"! Does that mean that I shouldn't do anything with what God has given me? Absolutely not! But it does mean that all I have to do is accept what God sent Jesus to do for me. 

Are you needing that grace today, my friend? Are you seeking to check the "good Christian things" off your list to help you achieve or accomplish what God has already given to you? 

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16 (NIV)

Fear of The Lord

Because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid; What can man do to me?"


Have you ever thought of fear as a good thing? I know it's not something that usually comes to my mind. Just the word fear invokes so much emotion that I become defensive and on guard. But today, I want to look at the fear of The Lord.

There are many verses in the Bible about fearing The Lord. The most recognizable is Proverbs 9:10 that says, "The fear of The Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

But do we understand what that even means to fear The Lord?

On my journey of understanding fear of The Lord, God has taken me to a place I didn't want to go. He allowed me to have to deal and confront some of those "what if" fears and unknown future fears that I struggle with. He has shown me that my heart needs to be set on Him and not to allow anyone or anything to take His place in my life. He has revealed His constant, unchanging nature that I needed to be reminded of.

And ultimately, He has shown me just how devestating and fearful being separated from Him by sin can be. It's a dark, lonely and unknown place. That is not a place I want to even visit for the weekend!

But God's grace and mercy and love is overwhelming, and I feel this in an overwhelming rush when I repent of my sin. And for me, this is where I truly experience fear of The Lord. I feel an overwhelming awe, reverence and amazement that despite Him being without sin, He welcomes me, cleanses me of the ick of my sin, and calls me His child.

Have you experienced God in this way in our own life? Have you felt the Fear of The Lord?