God Is Bigger!

At the start of every new year, I begin with the best of intentions to keep on track with a Bible reading plan. The furthest I ever made it is the end of July before getting off track. This year I decided to read through the Bible chronologically. Thankfully, my husband decided to do it with me. Well, the truth is that I set up the YouVersion app on his iPad mini and signed him up. But so far, we've been faithful everyday.

A few days ago, we started with the book of Exodus. Since I've started reading through the Bible every year numerous times before, this means I've read this book many times before. But that just means that I have to work on being intentional in how I read and why I read!


Today, I opened up to Exodus chapter 14. Like every time I read the story of the Israelites, I get extremely frustrated with these people who are finally free after 430 years of bondage! Yes, I try and remind myself that I am very similar to them, but honestly, do I really act as ungrateful as them? This part of the story is where Pharoh's army has them trapped beside the Red Sea. And what do the people do? They complain and grumble at The Lord and Moses for bringing them out of Egypt. Very frustrating people!

But today as I read, Moses' response in verse 13 stuck out in a very big way to me!

And Moses said to the people, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of The Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. (Exodus 14:13)

These people are trapped. They're stuck. They are convinced this is the end and it cannot get any worse. This is the stuff that horrible nightmares are made of. But notice how Moses draws their focus off of themselves and points them to The Lord.

This is where I stop, shake my head and raise my hand. Yes, that is what I do when faced with the worst situation I can imagine. I cry out to God in frustration, and yes, there is usually complaining involved in some way. I am just like the Israelites.

But God! Or how He has shed new light on this old-time story for me today. He showed me that just as He led the Israelites to their place of biggest fear, so He leads me sometimes. And why does He do this? Because sometimes God allows us to face our biggest fear to show us that He is bigger!


So today, as you face that potential job layoff, a sick child, a marriage in shambles, or loneliness, know that God hasn't abandoned you. You're right where He wants you to be in order to show you more of Himself.

The Health of My Heart

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
             1 Corinthians 13:4-7


The clock read 11:37pm. The curtains were drawn and everyone was asleep, except my son. He sat in my arms, wrapped in his soft green blanket, smiling. Oh that smile. Cute, but not at 11:37pm.

So many thoughts ran through my head. Why he was still awake? Why is my husband sleeping? Doesn't he know that I have to get up at 6am too? Yes, he has a "real" job, but my "job" gets the kids fed, clothed and keeps them from fighting all day. Plus I have a meeting in the morning. And we need lightbulbs from the store. I get to have coffee tomorrow. Haven't had it four days. Ugh! Why is this child not sleeping.

Them bam! I felt it. That God tap. That reminder of what love is.

It's patient with what comes throughout the day, or night.

It's kind when my child interrupts me because he needs a snuggle.

It's not envious that my husband gets to go to work and talk to adults all day long.

It doesn't boast over how much I do for those I love.

It's not proud at what I've accomplished.

It doesn't push my own selfish "needs" before those that I am trusted to care for.

It doesn't seek to elevate my position.

It doesn't get angry when my plans get changed.

It doesn't keep a record of how many times I've taken the "night-shift" with the kids.

It doesn't get joy out of another mom's struggle.

It always protects.

It always trusts.

It always hopes.

It always perseveres.

It was then that I realized that I hadn't been loving those whom God gave me to love. I was crushed with the overwhelming sense of guilt and repentance at what I had been truly feeling in my heart. This was the health of my heart and I didn't like it.

So I prayed. Prayed for His forgiveness and His help, because it's easy to be the opposite of loving. That part comes naturally.

As I woke today, I was refreshed despite the loss of sleep. But I woke with a different perspective. A God perspecitive. I want the Holy Spirit to guide me in loving all those in my path. This is my prayer.

Have you checked the condition of your heart lately?

Who Are You Fighting?

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
             1 Peter 3:8-9




It's breaking out. People everywhere fall prey without even realizing it. Those who thought they were immune are being hit the hardest.

No, I'm not talking about ebola.

I'm talking about Christians taking out other Christians. Attacking. Slandering. Snickering. Backstabbing. Breaking ties. Lying.

What is the cause?

Honestly, I believe it starts very small, as all sin does. It might begin with not liking how someone looked at us or maybe they didn't sit in their usual spot on Sunday morning. Maybe it was a disagreement over a sermon or how the potluck at church was cancelled. It may have started over a Christmas card getting lost in the mail.

You may laugh at some or all of the above, but it's true. Christians can sometimes be the most petty and get a burr under their saddle over the tiniest thing.

How do I know? Because I've done it. As I sat and typed this, recalling others who have attacked and participated in going after another Christian, God boldly reminded me of something I cannot deny. I've done this and the number of times is too many to count. I've attacked. I've slandered. I've snickered. I've backstabbed.

But let's be brutally honest. Every one of those situations could have been dealt with in a loving way if those involved had turned to God for their reaction rather than rallying support and/or blowing it out of proportion. Would He want the reaction of us getting huffy over someone's mistake or small error, or would He have wanted grace extended and a civil conversation? Would He want more people than necessary involved or would He want it brought to Him in prayer? Would He want a letter/text/email sent in haste or grace/prayer/time? I think we all know the answer.

This may all seem over the top and like I'm scraping the bottom of my blog writing barrel. Sadly, I'm not. It's all true and very, very sad.

The reality of it all is that satan has distracted us from fighting him by turning us against each other. He plants seeds of doubt, paranoia, and gossip and then sits back while we tear eachother apart. He gives us a taste of feeling like someone has wronged us or that we have a right to fight a fight over something that was never worth fighting over.

We need to take our eyes off of ourselves and refocus on God! Our gatherings should resemble the throne room where God resides instead of looking like a courtroom where we come to fight for victory over a fellow Christian.

Basically what is all comes down to is we need to pray. Pray against satan's temptations in our lives and pray that we hold fast to what God has extended to us, His power over sin and His grace of which we are so very undeserving. Because remembering that grace that we don't deserve that God has given to us should stop us before ever attacking another brother or sister in Christ.

And extend that same grace when we don't receive a Christmas card from someone this year.

God Is In To Details

Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I will show you.
          Exodus 25:9



I know, it's been forever since I posted something. I've missed it and longed to sit down and write. So here I am, on a cloudly, Canadian Thanksgiving Monday morning with my cup of green tea and my Bible. Kids are playing happily, for the moment.

Are you a detailed person? Do you like to have things a certain way? Or are you a more laid back, go-with-the-flow, spontaneous personality? No matter what category you find yourself, I bet there are at least parts of your life that you are detailed, or picky, about. It may be the way you like your coffee or how you fold your clothes. It could be that you can only eat steak if it is very lightly pink in the middle or your car must be parked in that specific spot in the driveway.

I'm very much a detailed person. Sometimes, yes it's over the top and picky. And believe me, I have spent so much time and energy making sure the details are written down, packed or communicated.

Did you know that God is into details too? I'm reading a book called Leaving Ordinary by Donna Gaines where she walks through the Old Testament tabernacle, the house of God and the correlation between Jesus Christ. As I was reading yesterday, she quoted verses from Luke chapter 2 that tell of Jesus' birth and verses from Revelations 21 that tell of the New Jerusalem where we who are believers will dwell with God forever. Donna explained that these plans that God has laid out have and will come to pass, down to the finest detail.

God does care about the details of your life too. How do I know? Because nothing happens by accident. He cares that you got stuck in the long line at Wal-Mart today because He knew you needed to talk to the little old lady behind you. He cares that you have to deal with a very difficult situation at work because He knows your co-workers are watching how you react. He cares that your child is in a class at school where there is an autistic child, which will teach her compassion and that different is still special.

In a time in when our world seems to be in chaos and who don't know what evil is going to do next, the thought that God has everything planned out, down to every small details comforts me. Because ultimately, He's the one in control. The details I care about may not be exactly what God is concerned with, but the ones that really matter are totally in His control.

What about you? Does knowing that God is in to details comfort you as it does me?

What Trials Bring

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
                   James 1:2-4


When I was about 11 or 12, my mom and my sisters and I would listen to a popular kids Christian radio program every day on the way home from school. I remember one episode focused on James 1:2a and told me to "count it all joy." At the time, I thought it was a good verse to memorize because it was short, and it talked about something good, joy, and I knew I needed more of that.

As I grew older and read the rest of the verse, I learned that it wasn't just telling me to have joy in the good times, but when there were trials in my life! So for years I focused on the section where it talked about the trials of life. I would get upset with myself if, during the trials my family was going through, I didn't feel joyful.

Then I came to a place in my life where I could look back at the trials I had experienced and see how they had affected me, both good and bad. I discovered that through those terrible times is when I discovered the most about God and grew stronger in my faith. I truly began to realize what verses three and four of James chapter 1 meant! I had gained assurance of my faith, became grounded in God's truths, and knew where to find wisdom.

Now, here I am, years down the line and looking at my children. I see them so young in their faith and it brings me to remember when I was in their place. And I ache for them. Why? Because I know for them to mature in their faith and really grow in their faith, they will have to face trials and hard times. Can I be honest? I'm scared for them too! They will have to learn how to make choices in the face of opposition to God's ways. They will have to go through heartbreak and rejection in order to really be able to sympathize and honestly say "I know how you feel." So many lessons for them to learn along the way.

But I know that through all those times, God will be, yet again, testing me as their mom while I watch them struggle. My prayers will be for them to persevere and mature in their faith, no matter what they must journey through. And one thing I know for sure from going through my own trials is that God will watch over them and their mom, through it all.

Let Myself Go

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
              Zephaniah 3:17



Love. We hear about it all the time. Songs on the radio, books and TV shows constantly throw the word love around. Many a young girl has been caught up in all those media-laced ideas of love and what it looks like. Like, how many red roses will he send you if he's really in love? Or, will he magically pick out the biggest ring and propose to me with a photographer hidden in the bushes? I admit, that the image of love that our society portrays to us is very enticing. But it falls short, doesn't it. We all have stories, some funny and some not so funny, of when the fairytale came to a screetching halt!

Isn't it funny how human love is blown way out of proportion, while the true love story of the universe has been minimized to the point that it barely gets mentioned in an average daily conversation, even amongst Christians. Why is that?

My why is this. Right now, at this place today, I'm struggling. Struggling to not second-guess myself constantly because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel of this love from God. I'm struggling to not be terrified that Jesus is going to tell me, I never knew you. I'm struggling not to compare how I feel by what others tell me they feel. But as I've processed these thoughts and struggles, I've realized the basis of it all. I'm struggling to let myself go into my Father's Arms.

Oh, how desperately I want to, but I'm not a let myself go kind of person. I'm the always in control, never let them see you question, roll-with-it kind of person. But I don't want to be that kind of person with God anymore. I want to cling to Him with everything that is in me. I want to radiate His love because I've finally let myself go. I want Him to amaze those around me, through me. I want to live in the verse from Zephaniah 3:17 that I've quoted above. I want God to quiet me by His love.

So let this be my declaration of God's love. I declare that I am going to let myself go into God's love. Will you join me?

Deceived Into Doubting

I have a confession to make. I doubt most people. I doubt the motive of strangers walking down the street. I doubt the government's press releases. I doubt what the sales girl says about that pair of jeans I just showed her, so I have to send my girlfriend a picture while I'm in the change room. Am I the only one who has doubts like that? Probably not. But if I'm honest, the doubt I feel the most intense and the most often is doubt about myself. 

For a very long time I've struggled to feel like I mattered to those around me. I've had so many friendships over the years that were so one-sided that caused me to feel like I wasn't important or worth being around. I would be the one seeking that friend out for coffee or movie or just simply a phone chat. 

I've also struggled with the doubt of my abilities. Although I would get that pat on the back or raise at work, I'd never feel like I had done enough or that I wasn't quite good enough. Even to the point where things like my music awards or grades made me feel like I had fooled the teachers into thinking I was good, but lived in fear of them finding out what an imposter I was. 

But there is One that I've never been able to run from or hide from or fool...God. He knows me, the real me. He wants to be with me, talk to me and enjoy me. He has shown me what it's like to be treasured and known so that I don't have to pretend.

Psalm 139:1-3 says that, "You have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways." Just reading that gives me such a comforting feeling and a blaring reminder that all those labels of doubt that I've felt over the years are not how God sees me. As verse 14 of that same chapter says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; you works are wonderful. I know that full well."

I don't always live as if I believe those truths of God's word, but He continues to speak His love and affirmation into my life. And who am I to say to God that He is wrong or that He messed up when He made me, because I can't. I can only focus on who He says I am, and pray that He penetrates my heart so that when I feel those old labels of doubt creeping back into my mind, His stamp of approval smashes them to pieces.

What labels are you struggling with?