The Lord Is My Portion

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
                     Lamentations 3:22-24




Do you ever wake up in the morning and wonder how you are going to make it through the day? What you do you? Do you pull the covers back over your head or take a deep breathe and let your feet hit the floor?

For me, there are so many days when the lure of my pillow would be my choice. But what would happen to the three little people who need breakfast? What would happen to the laundry that is piled up in my laundry room? And the emails...garbage...exercise? That list of things that "need" my attention is most of the time what makes me want to stay in bed.

I have to be honest with you. I am scared to death of failing and not completing my to do list. Why? Because somewhere along the way, I found my idenity in being the responsible and reliable person that everyone depends on. And the saddest part is that everything I do is accomplished in my own strength.

The verses from Lamentations that I have quoted above are part of the message from Lysa TerKeurst in "Made to Crave" this week and have really stopped me in my tracks this week. Is The Lord truly my portion for today or am I seeking to do things that give me a sense of fulfillment only to have tomorrow morning be another battle for my sanity? When was the last time His love was enough to fill me so that I am not consumed by the fear of failure?

Honestly, I don't remember. Isn't that sad? And I don't have any quick fix answers other than to make a choice to focus on The Lord. He is what I need today and everyday. He is what you need too, my friend.

So tomorrow when my alarm goes off, I'm going to take a deep breathe, thank The Lord for his blessings and ask Him to lead me in my day.

Made to Be a Victor

I keep asking that the Good of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength.

              Ephesians 1:17-20


Struggles. Cravings. Temptations. No matter what you call them, they are a part of our battle between the Holy Spirit in us and the sinful nature that we are born with.

I now call my daily battle with food "To Eat, Or Not To Eat". Why? Because I'm either fighting the pull to eat whatever I want with no regard or the other extreme of spending so much time counting calories that it consumes my day. But as I learned this week in Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst, I am made for more and don't have to live in either of those extremes.

I am made to live free of the bondage of food.
I am made to live in victory over my earthly obsessions.
I am made to be God's child.
I am made to be obssessed with only Him.
I am made to be alive with the hope of His plans for me.
I am made to be free to be who He created me to be.

He has given me victory over all my issues. It's freeing just knowing that, and fills me to the top with joy to live feeling no pull on my except towards God's word and time with Him. I'm not saying that I still don't face choices, dilemma's and times where my emotions could be quickly "satisfied" with a nice big brownie. I'm saying that I'm making the choice to think in God's victory rather than hope that it happens. God will meet me in my moments of temptation and craving. But I know He's already been there and won, so I need not fear them when they come.

So my challenge for you today is what is your mentality? Are you already thinking like a victor or still thinking solely of the hard times?

Yearning for God Only

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of The Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
              Psalms 84:2 NIV


Have you ever had to list your priorities? For some reason, I hate having to do those type of things. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because sometimes when I list what my priorities are, I come face to face with where I'm failing. I always put God at the top of my list, but most of the time it's because that's what I know I should do, but doesn't mean I actually live it.

As I started the latest Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study, "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst, earlier this week, I've been boldly confronted and convicted with how messed up my priorities are. I have realized that not all areas of my life are being centered around God, mainly the area of food, which Lysa deals with in her book.

I have learned that I center too much of my food struggles around what I can or cannot accomplish. And base my own self-worth on what the number on the scale is. When I lose a pound, I don't give God the glory, I usually just pat myself on the back for working hard and eating better this week, and neglect to acknowledge that He gave me the time, strength and energy and provided that healthy food for me. But when I gain a pound, or five, I mentally badger myself, tearing myself down. I really should be turning my failures over to God and accepting His grace of getting to try again.

But the biggest thing I have learned, and what I ultimately want to make my goal for this study, is that the numbers on the scale are not what I want to change, but my heart needs to change. You see, the battle raging in my heart needs to stop. I need to not just make God #1 in my heart, but my ONLY god. If he isn't the only god, I am still not loving Him with my whole heart, and that is not what He deserves.

The verse from Psalms 84:2 is such a wonderful description of what I want to be my heart's cry. I want to yearn to be resting in the victories of God in my life, because He has already won my battle over food. He has won my battle over material things. He has won my battle to be noticed. I just need to accept His victory and live with Him guiding my every move, moment by moment and craving by craving. The cravings of my heart disguised as good things are really the temptations that Satan is using, trying to pull my focus off of my Lord.

If you are joining me in this journey of focusing everything on The Lord, that is great! I'd love to hear about it. If you haven't yet made that commitment, what's holding you back?

Thriving in 2014

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters
          Isaiah 55:1a



Here we are with just a couple days left in 2014. Are you a resolution maker? Do you keep them? I don't usually make new resolutions, but I do reevaluate where I'm at, where I want to be and new routines I want to get into to. I do this in September (beginning of the school year) and New Years.

Last year I was presented with the idea of choosing a word for the year. I thought it was an excellent idea to almost have a theme to live by. My word for 2013 was "Real" and I think I did pretty good with staying real in my relationships and how I dealt with life.

As I've sat back and tried to hear what God wants me to focus on for 2014, I was stumped. Then I stumbled onto the new song by Casting Crowns "Thrive. Have a listen.

I was so impacted the message of this song that I quickly pulled out my Bible and looked Isaiah 55:1 that talked about who is thirsty and coming to the waters. I am thirsty for more of The Lord and I want to surrender 2014 to Him and whatever it brings.

So my word and theme song for 2014 is "Thrive". Thriving in my relationship with The Lord. Thriving in where He has placed me to minister to others. Thriving in how I impact the world in His name

I encourage you to listen to what word The Lord wants for you to embrace for 2014. Once you know, share it with your friends and comment here, write it down, journal it!

Many blessings for the coming year!

Mercy at Christmas

Because judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement!
             James 2:13



It's that time of year again, where we're faced with parties, busy shopping malls, school pageants and the family gatherings. These things can combine to make the next week one of the most stressful times of the year instead of the most wonderful time of year.

Even though my calendar is not full and all the presents are purchased, I still have a lot of stress over what's going to happen next week. Will the gifts be acceptable. Will we be able to fit everybody's wants into the time frame we have. Will I be able to eat healthy while surrounded by goodies. My list could go on and on.

But this year, I'm trying a different approach. I'm trying to look at all the events and people I encounter with mercy instead of judgement. As I read the above verse from James, I was convicted by the thought that if I don't show mercy, none will be shown to me.

Now I don't mean to say that if you're merciful to everybody who is pushing their way into the check-out line at Wal-Mart that you will achieve success in getting to the line quicker. But what if you did show mercy to your fellow shoppers? I think you would see a change in your own heart, even if they do not respond in kind. And what about that family gathering that is happening next week? What if you kept quiet about some of the things that you see wrong and instead, just enjoyed watching others smile.

These are things that I need to hear, probably more than any of you. I'm going to approach this next week with the mercy of God towards others and allow Him to do this work in my heart, because I can't do it without His help.


As we wrap up 2013, I want to thank each and every one of you for taking time to read my blog. May this Christmas be full of the hope and joy that Christ brings. Merry Christmas!!!

Failing Forward

- Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success.



This morning, I was watching my 6 month old son trying to crawl. He pushes himself up onto his hands and tries to lift his tummy off the ground. Sometimes he gets frustrated and starts to cry, but the more and more he tries, he longer he is able to hold himself up. It's not easy to watch my kids try something new. As the parent, I want to jump in and help because it's not easy watching them fall down or get frustrated. But in the case of my son learning to crawl, he has to learn to do it himself.

As I was watching my son, I started thinking about Renee Swope's book, A Confident Heart, and Chapter 7 titled "When Doubt Whispers 'I'm such a failure'."

When I watch my children try something new or practice to get better at a skill, I would never call them a failure. Finding what you are good at or learning to walk, for instance, are just a part of growing up. A child learning to walk takes time and more than likely, is going to fall before they are steady on their feet, or borrow Renee's phrase, failing forward.

As I look back at my own life and what I consider failing, I remember the disappointment of my first driving test. I remember the big "D" on my first history (my favorite subject) paper of high school. I remember sitting on the floor crying when my oldest hit the terrible two stage and I seemed to be losing the battle of yet another tantrum.

But in all of these instances, I learned something valuable. With each test, paper and day with my child, I learned from the mistakes I had previously made.

There have also been times when God has allowed me to struggle with a sin or difficult person, to the point of exhaustion. I've cried out to him in confession and pleading to help me. But as I do with my own children, He allowed me to struggle. I believe He has used these times to build patience, perseverance and kindness.

God doesn't look at me as a failure, but He does allow me to fail to help me attain something He wants me to learn. As Renee says in her book "Failure pushes us to do more than we think we can and try other methods of doing things when one way doesn't work. Failure can be hurtful, but it can also be beneficial."

For Me Or Against Me

If God is for us, who can be against us?
               Romans 8:31b



"I am never going to be a good enough ____________."

If you're like me, you've filled in that blank more times than you can count. And more often than I like to admit, I'm comparing myself to someone else. Someone more virtuous, more graceful, more beautiful, more...

As I read Chapter 6 in A Confident Heart by Renee Swope, I was challenged to replace all of these statements against myself, or AM, that doubt whispers to me on a daily basis with statements for me, or FM. The FM statements are God's promises to me.

At first I thought, I don't need to do this. I know enough of His promises to me and have the knowledge of when to apply them. But then I had to stop. Obviously I wasn't applying God's promises FM because I was still facing many doubts on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

As I sat down to write out my AM/FM statements, I thought of my daughters. They love to dress up in princess dresses and will often come twirl for me. They will occasionally ask "Am I beautiful, Mommy?" And I rave over how beautiful the are, but I also work really hard at explaining to them that what makes them beautiful is not what they wear, but who they are and how they treat others.

At that moment, God whispered to me,"Don't you think I want you to know the truth about what makes you beautiful? Don't you think that I want you to dwell on my promises and not the lies doubt tells you? I want to show you how much I value you."

Those thoughts from God changes my perspective on the AM/FM statements. So here are some my AM/FM statements.



When doubt tells me that I'll never be good enough, I will cling to the promise that God will complete the good work He started in me. (Philippians 1:6)

When I feel like no one likes me, I will remember that I have been chose by God and adopted as His child. (Ephesians 1:3-8)

When I feel like I'll never be the Christian that I feel I need to be to please God, I will trust that I am free from condemnation and cannot be separated from God's love. (Romans 8:1-2, 31-39)



The same way I want only good things to fill the minds of my chldren about who they are and what truly matters, God wants me to remember His Truths and do away with the doubts of this world.

Who am I?

I am a precious and chosen child of the King. If God is for me, then no one can be against me.

So who are you?