Yearning for God Only

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of The Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
              Psalms 84:2 NIV


Have you ever had to list your priorities? For some reason, I hate having to do those type of things. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because sometimes when I list what my priorities are, I come face to face with where I'm failing. I always put God at the top of my list, but most of the time it's because that's what I know I should do, but doesn't mean I actually live it.

As I started the latest Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study, "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst, earlier this week, I've been boldly confronted and convicted with how messed up my priorities are. I have realized that not all areas of my life are being centered around God, mainly the area of food, which Lysa deals with in her book.

I have learned that I center too much of my food struggles around what I can or cannot accomplish. And base my own self-worth on what the number on the scale is. When I lose a pound, I don't give God the glory, I usually just pat myself on the back for working hard and eating better this week, and neglect to acknowledge that He gave me the time, strength and energy and provided that healthy food for me. But when I gain a pound, or five, I mentally badger myself, tearing myself down. I really should be turning my failures over to God and accepting His grace of getting to try again.

But the biggest thing I have learned, and what I ultimately want to make my goal for this study, is that the numbers on the scale are not what I want to change, but my heart needs to change. You see, the battle raging in my heart needs to stop. I need to not just make God #1 in my heart, but my ONLY god. If he isn't the only god, I am still not loving Him with my whole heart, and that is not what He deserves.

The verse from Psalms 84:2 is such a wonderful description of what I want to be my heart's cry. I want to yearn to be resting in the victories of God in my life, because He has already won my battle over food. He has won my battle over material things. He has won my battle to be noticed. I just need to accept His victory and live with Him guiding my every move, moment by moment and craving by craving. The cravings of my heart disguised as good things are really the temptations that Satan is using, trying to pull my focus off of my Lord.

If you are joining me in this journey of focusing everything on The Lord, that is great! I'd love to hear about it. If you haven't yet made that commitment, what's holding you back?

Thriving in 2014

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters
          Isaiah 55:1a



Here we are with just a couple days left in 2014. Are you a resolution maker? Do you keep them? I don't usually make new resolutions, but I do reevaluate where I'm at, where I want to be and new routines I want to get into to. I do this in September (beginning of the school year) and New Years.

Last year I was presented with the idea of choosing a word for the year. I thought it was an excellent idea to almost have a theme to live by. My word for 2013 was "Real" and I think I did pretty good with staying real in my relationships and how I dealt with life.

As I've sat back and tried to hear what God wants me to focus on for 2014, I was stumped. Then I stumbled onto the new song by Casting Crowns "Thrive. Have a listen.

I was so impacted the message of this song that I quickly pulled out my Bible and looked Isaiah 55:1 that talked about who is thirsty and coming to the waters. I am thirsty for more of The Lord and I want to surrender 2014 to Him and whatever it brings.

So my word and theme song for 2014 is "Thrive". Thriving in my relationship with The Lord. Thriving in where He has placed me to minister to others. Thriving in how I impact the world in His name

I encourage you to listen to what word The Lord wants for you to embrace for 2014. Once you know, share it with your friends and comment here, write it down, journal it!

Many blessings for the coming year!

Mercy at Christmas

Because judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement!
             James 2:13



It's that time of year again, where we're faced with parties, busy shopping malls, school pageants and the family gatherings. These things can combine to make the next week one of the most stressful times of the year instead of the most wonderful time of year.

Even though my calendar is not full and all the presents are purchased, I still have a lot of stress over what's going to happen next week. Will the gifts be acceptable. Will we be able to fit everybody's wants into the time frame we have. Will I be able to eat healthy while surrounded by goodies. My list could go on and on.

But this year, I'm trying a different approach. I'm trying to look at all the events and people I encounter with mercy instead of judgement. As I read the above verse from James, I was convicted by the thought that if I don't show mercy, none will be shown to me.

Now I don't mean to say that if you're merciful to everybody who is pushing their way into the check-out line at Wal-Mart that you will achieve success in getting to the line quicker. But what if you did show mercy to your fellow shoppers? I think you would see a change in your own heart, even if they do not respond in kind. And what about that family gathering that is happening next week? What if you kept quiet about some of the things that you see wrong and instead, just enjoyed watching others smile.

These are things that I need to hear, probably more than any of you. I'm going to approach this next week with the mercy of God towards others and allow Him to do this work in my heart, because I can't do it without His help.


As we wrap up 2013, I want to thank each and every one of you for taking time to read my blog. May this Christmas be full of the hope and joy that Christ brings. Merry Christmas!!!

Failing Forward

- Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success.



This morning, I was watching my 6 month old son trying to crawl. He pushes himself up onto his hands and tries to lift his tummy off the ground. Sometimes he gets frustrated and starts to cry, but the more and more he tries, he longer he is able to hold himself up. It's not easy to watch my kids try something new. As the parent, I want to jump in and help because it's not easy watching them fall down or get frustrated. But in the case of my son learning to crawl, he has to learn to do it himself.

As I was watching my son, I started thinking about Renee Swope's book, A Confident Heart, and Chapter 7 titled "When Doubt Whispers 'I'm such a failure'."

When I watch my children try something new or practice to get better at a skill, I would never call them a failure. Finding what you are good at or learning to walk, for instance, are just a part of growing up. A child learning to walk takes time and more than likely, is going to fall before they are steady on their feet, or borrow Renee's phrase, failing forward.

As I look back at my own life and what I consider failing, I remember the disappointment of my first driving test. I remember the big "D" on my first history (my favorite subject) paper of high school. I remember sitting on the floor crying when my oldest hit the terrible two stage and I seemed to be losing the battle of yet another tantrum.

But in all of these instances, I learned something valuable. With each test, paper and day with my child, I learned from the mistakes I had previously made.

There have also been times when God has allowed me to struggle with a sin or difficult person, to the point of exhaustion. I've cried out to him in confession and pleading to help me. But as I do with my own children, He allowed me to struggle. I believe He has used these times to build patience, perseverance and kindness.

God doesn't look at me as a failure, but He does allow me to fail to help me attain something He wants me to learn. As Renee says in her book "Failure pushes us to do more than we think we can and try other methods of doing things when one way doesn't work. Failure can be hurtful, but it can also be beneficial."

For Me Or Against Me

If God is for us, who can be against us?
               Romans 8:31b



"I am never going to be a good enough ____________."

If you're like me, you've filled in that blank more times than you can count. And more often than I like to admit, I'm comparing myself to someone else. Someone more virtuous, more graceful, more beautiful, more...

As I read Chapter 6 in A Confident Heart by Renee Swope, I was challenged to replace all of these statements against myself, or AM, that doubt whispers to me on a daily basis with statements for me, or FM. The FM statements are God's promises to me.

At first I thought, I don't need to do this. I know enough of His promises to me and have the knowledge of when to apply them. But then I had to stop. Obviously I wasn't applying God's promises FM because I was still facing many doubts on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

As I sat down to write out my AM/FM statements, I thought of my daughters. They love to dress up in princess dresses and will often come twirl for me. They will occasionally ask "Am I beautiful, Mommy?" And I rave over how beautiful the are, but I also work really hard at explaining to them that what makes them beautiful is not what they wear, but who they are and how they treat others.

At that moment, God whispered to me,"Don't you think I want you to know the truth about what makes you beautiful? Don't you think that I want you to dwell on my promises and not the lies doubt tells you? I want to show you how much I value you."

Those thoughts from God changes my perspective on the AM/FM statements. So here are some my AM/FM statements.



When doubt tells me that I'll never be good enough, I will cling to the promise that God will complete the good work He started in me. (Philippians 1:6)

When I feel like no one likes me, I will remember that I have been chose by God and adopted as His child. (Ephesians 1:3-8)

When I feel like I'll never be the Christian that I feel I need to be to please God, I will trust that I am free from condemnation and cannot be separated from God's love. (Romans 8:1-2, 31-39)



The same way I want only good things to fill the minds of my chldren about who they are and what truly matters, God wants me to remember His Truths and do away with the doubts of this world.

Who am I?

I am a precious and chosen child of the King. If God is for me, then no one can be against me.

So who are you?

Feeling the Unfailing Love

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

                      Psalm 36:7

Unfailing love is almost considered an oxymoron in our society these days. The love that most people know fails, cheats, lies, abuses, degrades and has conditions. It serves only selfish purposes and does not offer any protection or care.

This is why the priceless, unfailing love of God is not easy to comprehend for most people, myself included. Even if you are accustomed to good relationships with people you love, our human love is not perfect and it does fail because we fail.

But the beauty of God's love is that no matter what I do, what I accomplish or how I look, He will never love me any more or any less than the day He sent Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. Do you believe that? Do you live as if you believe it?

After reading Renee Swope's A Confident Heart, her statement on page 54 that says "I needed the knowledge of His unfailing love to move from my head to my heart," was something that jumped out at me. I know that feeling. 

I have never known life without the knowledge of God's love for me and I value having been taught that from an early age. But because it's something that I've known of for so long, I have often felt that God and His love for me are not necessarily something I feel deeply in my heart. 

And I know that I'm not alone in this. I've had people that have been Christians for both a long time and a short time express the same concerns to me. They ask me, "How do I feel God's love and a love for Him?" To be honest, I don't have any easy answers. 

But this I do know. God desires to have a relationship with me. He wants me to be on fire for Him. He wants me to yearn to spend time with him daily. He wants to be my very best friend and be in constant communication with me. So because I trust that He wants me in all those ways, I know that if I study His Word and pray to Him, expressing my desire to "feel", He will be faithful in helping me get to that place. 

I can see Him doing this in my life, slowly and surely. And He will do it for you too! So surround yourself in the promises of God. Talk to Him. Tell Him your concerns, fears and struggles. He won't fail you or fail to love you. 

Surrounded With The Truth

But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.
                John 4:23


Do you struggle with self-doubt, insecurity and feelings of worthlessness? I do. I've blogged about this topic before, but it's worth revisiting because I think it's a very common problem, especially among women. And it's something I have to deal with every day of my life.

It's so easy to pin our value as a person on what we accomplish, how we dress or who our friends are. But as I've been reading and studying A Confident Heart by Renee Swope, I've unearthed some of the hard truths about my insecurities and doubts.

I've discovered that one of my earliest doubts was whether or not I was going to be safe. I've learned that my insecurities keep me from being myself and having fun. I don't know what it's like not to worry if I'm good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc. And that I'm scared. Scared of being radically different.

I'm sure some of your own doubts and insecurities are popping up in your mind now. They may be to a lesser degree than mine are, but none the less, they hinder you in some way. And if you're like me, you may feel overwhelmed just thinking about what you feel hinders you.

But stay with me!

We don't have to stay in this place. We don't have to sentence ourselves to living never feeling like we're enough. Because above everything we doubt and dislike about ourselves, and what we think others doubt and dislike about us, is the truth.

The truth is not what we think, what others think, but what God thinks. God tells me I'm a masterpiece (Isa 62:3). He tells me I'm never alone (Deut. 31:6). He tells me I'm precious (Isa 43:4).

But do I believe Him? Do I live like I believe Him? Honestly, no. I know I believe Him a bit more than I did last year at this time, but I still have a long way to go. Each day is a battlefield in my mind, so I've chosen to surround myself with truth.

How? I'm taking it one step at a time. This week, when I encountered a truth that I felt God wanted me to believe about myself, I wrote it on a heart sticky note and placed it around my bathroom mirror.

How will you apply God's truth to your life and take steps toward believing who you really are?